This is the first part of a series of articles which comprehensively examine the discrimination against women in almost every stage of life in today’s world.
Whether we like it or not and we are aware of it or not, living as a woman has never been easy even for those staying in a modern and superpower country, like the United States of America, or any other advanced countries, let alone Indonesia.
I was born as the youngest of three and the only daughter in the family. Since the earlier stage of my childhood, my mother has been teaching me to be a strong and independent woman. She has taught me to be tough. “Be strong, be cautious, be brave, and don’t trust others easily, especially men,” she said over and over again.
At the same time, people around me treated me like a fragile item. They didn’t let me go anywhere alone. They worried more if I did everything on my own. Many times, I had been warned to be careful to avoid getting hurt. The elders said that girls with scars are considered as naughty and not attractive. On the other hand, boys with scars are a symbol of exploration, strength, and experience.
Moreover, people around me tried to control me and didn’t allow me to explore myself. At a family gathering, boys were allowed to play the whole day, while I was asked to help my family clean the house, prepare the food, and serve the guest. So then, boys can chase their quests outdoors while girls must serve the guests indoors.
Those mindsets and experiences gave me a sense of insecurity. Those made me think that the world was not fair and it was more unsafe just because I am a female. My mother also accustomed me to always dressing in a “polite manner”. She made me hate wearing revealing clothes, while at the same time, lots of boys and men around me could walk topless freely.
My years in school have also taught me more about how life is hard for women. I learned about the history and culture of humanity that actually distinguish women and men. The disparity has always intrigued me. It was mostly men who were entitled to be praised as the god, the leader, the rocket scientist, the high achiever, the influencer, and even the hero.
Even the women heroes were portrayed with masculinity as if it reiterated that being feminine wasn’t qualified enough. Let me remind you of a story about Jeanne d’Arc (widely known as Joan of Arc) who had to wear a man’s suit of armor to convince the people of France of her ability and as a protection for her safety.
Rather than looking at her competence, people were more concerned about her virginity. They needed to make sure that she was a virgin as evidence of her sacrifice and purity for devotion to the country. Something that I believe, is irrelevant to the whole battle.
When later she was accused of blasphemy by wearing men’s clothes, she then exchanged into wearing women’s clothes. As a result, witnesses at the rehabilitation trial testified that Jeanne was subjected to rape attempts, including by an English noble. All of her victories and achievements seemed meaningless in the end as she was seen as a woman again.
When a woman did the job and reached achievement, she still tends to be seen as an oddity, something unique and unusual. Maybe today we can find successful women being glorified by society but this is more of an exception rather than the norm.
Digging deeper into history and culture, I face the fact that most cultures in the eastern continent adhere to patriarchy. It is even supported by local beliefs and religion. The majority sees women as the epitome of gentleness, which in another word is “weakness”. Women are gentle, soft, and fragile, that’s why they need men to protect them. This thought was even empowered since a long time ago by Darwin’s teaching about woman’s inferiority.
Femininity as the quality of female being has also been a stigma. A woman being masculine is praised as cool, brave, strong, and independent. On the other side, a man being feminine is ridiculed as a sassy person and an attention seeker who is soft, weak, weepy, kinky, and sensitive.
