What’s the Saddest Words in the English Language?
“believed”
I once believed I was getting older, wiser enough to tell my father & mother: “I had childish half-naive thoughts. sometimes believed there were shortcuts on every impasse road. often believed that all the suffering had a meaning. usually believed there was always a happy ending.”
I knock the desolate sky—ask—talk to God but he/she is never too late to distract myself: with pleasure, with unsatisfactory answer, with theatrical melody, with lullaby, with the melodramatic language of poetry—on scripture whose lost their raptures.
believed. I believed: life is a multiple garbage truck accident—in the body of a human—who had motion sickness. & time is madness. I believed, there was no one from nowhere—came down through the chimney—while I sail the dreams; then mystically paying my tax, paying my bill, paying the price of human existence that lost their essence.
believed. I believe there is always a nonsensical will to believe. & that makes me stay alive. & makes me reverie in every sight, every night, all night.
I believed … nothing … to believe … was … tangible … grief.
(2022)
–
What Part of an Absurdist Morning Routine Takes the Longest?
deciding:
to kill
himself
or make
a cup
of coffee.
(2022)
–
On Table
a bunch of dumbass who occupied this table—I could guess had just left—dirty surface on the hefty table—like a bouncer, covered with the remaining glasses & splattered water. I told the waiter to wipe the table, then said: “in this city—this goddamn city—many men are willing to be tipsy, to drain their time & money—just to steal the attention of nightfly—who gather in these kinds of places; that could reasonably be the melting points of urbanites.”
those dumbass are trying their luck. hoping to make the women’s things ‘wet’. regrettably, all they always do is wet the table, wet the pack of cigarettes—that I put on this table, wet the beer coasters, wet their despondency—but couldn’t wet the entire evidence of how pathetic & lonely they were. so fuckin’ silly.
(2022)
–
Time when Time Hits Different
: how flimsy the boundary
between space & time
first day school / first day college / first day work / gazing the stars / swim whilst rain / walking alone / in the woodland / in the quiet city / in the mortuary / on empty streets / absently at art-gallery / walk into the museum / muse on mausoleum / discern the sunrise / set eyes on sunset / catch sight of firework / finish up lenghty book / the day before birthday / wake up after get tattoo / attend the lively concert / listening to melodious songs or desolate melody / watching masterpiece movie / it’s raining outside / go on night-riding / it’s dark outside / but the desire to beyond space-time is too dazzling /
(2022)
–
To Win,
We Have to
Think Outside the Box
⇡
⌈ x | o | x ⌉
| o │x│x |
⌊ o | x | o ⌋
: but couldn’t change the fact—
that mindset & knowledge is a power
which makes their master feels suffer.
(2022)
Editor: Ghufroni An’ars
